- Take care that your nonverbal signals match the mood of what you say. Smile when you’re angry and you look false. It’s almost impossible to completely fake your body language, unless you’re a brilliant actor, so don’t try.
- Think happy thoughts about the person as you talk. If you tell yourself you like them (or just their shoes or hat) the warm thought will come through in your expression. Your eyes will crinkle, just so, and your lips relax. (NB muscles of mouth). If your mind is full of fury, you may find yourself pointing, folding your arms or standing too close. You just can’t manage all those little give-away signs at once.
- Use verbal imagery to a looker. Talk about being on the same page with them, tell them to watch out for a bright idea you’re about to explain. Ask them to let you paint the picture.
- At work, they may prefer an email approach to a phone call. But, take care with your emails: they can be a minefield of misunderstanding. Read every one over at least twice before you hit the “send” button.
- Check your appearance,
especially if your boss is a looker. A hem that’s falling down, baby sick on
your shoulder, a skirt that’s too tight: she’ll spot them all.
- Describe things with pictures and diagrams and put them in writing. Verbal directions may be too confusing. Write things down whenever you can.
- Use colour carefully. Red is energetic, but it can look aggressive. Blue is relaxed but can seem cold. Yellow looks bright and cheerful, especially in winter, but too much can tire the eyes. Use colour to match the mood you want to convey.